Here's the Story of a Lovely Lady

We welcomed our daughter to the world on Saturday, January 3. This is the story of her arrival.

The last two weeks of December were crazy with Christmas preparations (or lack thereof), house renovations (floor installations, plastering, and painting) and final wrap-ups at the office. We skipped our annual New Year's Eve party for the first time in five years. I felt good except for excessively swollen feet and a need to pee every 45 minutes. Hubby will tell you that my patience was shorter than usual (is that possible?) and I was constantly on edge.

On Friday, I had my weekly check at the OB. I was two days shy of my due date, so they did an exam and hooked me up to the fetal monitors. Baby hadn't been moving as much that last week so they wanted to get her heart rate and test her movements (everything was fine and normal.) During my exam, the doctor said I was 3 cm dilated and having small contractions that I couldn't feel, but the baby hadn't dropped. We made plans for future appointments and joked about meeting at the hospital during the OB's next on-call day.

From the doctor's office, I went to the mall to do some shopping, then went to the rental house to get supplies and such. Upon our arrival (hubby joined me for the trip to Plum Island) we found that all the drains in the house had frozen (not the pipes, the DRAINS) including the toilet. That last one was a bad bad discovery b/c it happened AFTER it had been used. All I'll say is "Gross." That led to a series of yells and screams, slamming of drawers, and rapid packing. Needless to say, we need to get out of that house as soon as possible. January 30 won't come soon enough. To ease our stress, we met friends for dinner. I still felt good, except for pain in my hip due to excessive walking at the mall.

We spent that night in our house, amongst the construction. The master bedroom was (and still is) a sort of safe zone. We went to be early, but every time I got up to use the bathroom, I had to let out Azure. She'd had a serious case of doggy diarrhea for two days. We think she knew something was going on.

At 6am, I got up, again, for the bathroom and felt a gush. I thought, I can't believe I just peed on myself. (Again, "Gross.") But then I thought "Wait a minute..." and googled how to know if your water broke. Yup. I called the doctor and was told that I should head to the hospital, but not to break and land speed records. So, I woke hubby, showered, dressed and we got in the car. On the way, I called family about what was happening. At 7:15, they all got the general idea. :-) I also started feeling contractions lasting about 30 seconds every 5 minutes or so.

We spent about an hour in the exam room with our delivery nurse Katie. She checked the baby on the fetal monitors and all was good. Katie also told me that the contractions I felt weren't likely strong labor contractions. Hubby joked "She's basically saying 'You don't know what labor contractions feel like yet.'" My only response "If these aren't real contractions, give me the drugs now."

At 8:30, we moved into the labor and delivery room. We ordered breakfast, talked a bit, watched TV. Hubby was settling in for a long day. By 9:30, the contractions were getting pretty intense. At Katie's suggestion, I got into the bathtub to help ease the pain. It was nice to feel weightless for a little while. The whirlpool jets were wonderful! About an hour later, I decided that I needed a change because the bath just wasn't doing it any more. I asked about the feasibility of an epidural at this stage, but had to wait for the doctor to check me. Dr. Hamlin walked in about 2 minutes after I made it to the bed. I was in the middle of a contraction. It passed just long enough for the quick exam. (Don't let them fool you, these exams HURT! A hand, a cervix, a contracting muscle - you do the math.) Well, I was 10 cm dilated and ready for active labor. It was only 10:45-ish. They rolled me on my back and Dr. Hamlin said the infamous words "You're going to have a baby any time now." The doctor and nurses set me up to push, Eric holding one leg, Katie holding the other. Dr. Hamlin turned around to get on her robe and gloves, but baby didn't want to wait. After five pushes, it arrived. The quickly put the baby on my chest, all squirmy and squishy. The doctor asked if it was a boy or girl. Hubby checked and it was a girl. Welcome Alexandra Grace! I needed to be stitched up, which hurt more than delivery itself. While I was otherwise occupied, the nurses cleaned Alexandra and hubby watched. Her stats were 6 lbs 15.5 oz and 18 3/4 inches long.

Phone calls were made, text messages sent. Everyone was very excited. The only unfortunate event was that hubby remembered the nice camera and lenses, but forgot the memory card. The best we could do were random shots with cell phone cameras and some slightly better ones with the point-and-shoot I care with me everywhere. Those pictures still need to be uploaded to our photosharing site and will be posted here shortly.

Later that day, we got a call from our dog-care provider who took Azure and Indigo for the day. Azure's stomach troubles had gotten worse. Hubby headed home to take care of her while Alexandra and I bonded. Poor Azure required a visit to the hospital herself. A case of gastroenteritis (fancy name for upset stomach) requiring bland food and lots of TLC. See, she knew something was happening!

We've been home now for over a week. Alexandra is getting along very well with everyone. She feeds constantly (45 minutes on average every 2 1/2 - 3 hours, often with a small snack in between.) The dogs are still unsure about her. Azure is a little mother and looks over her. Indigo wants to be the soother, but his licks are a bit much for the wee lass.

Our house is almost finished. The contractors are installing trim as I type. (Alexandra has learned to sleep through sawing, hammering, and other assorted construction noise.) We are about 2 weeks from getting our official Certificate of Occupancy. Ready or not, we will be here full time starting January 30.

Here's to hoping that infancy goes as well as the pregnancy. If the first two weeks are any indication, we might be that lucky.

Two weeks to go

Last night I lost it. It's all finally gotten to me.

There are two weeks left until baby's due date. I should be resting, reading, not stressing out. Fat chance of that. Hubby has a goal of finishing the renovations as quickly as possible. For his week off, he is assembling and installing kitchen cabinets, then installing the new floors. He is quite intent on meeting these goals.

But then... we got hit with two storms. I can't shovel and the snowblower broke. Hubby had to shovel the driveway himself. The best I could do was clean off the cars and keep the dogs occupied.

I'm frustrated that I can't help more. I can't lift cabinets, I can't bend down to install floors. I can't (well, I can, but shouldn't) shovel. I want to sit on the couch and watch TV or nap or do nothing at all. We have been staying on our neighbors' pull-out couch because of the storms. J&J are accommodating, but it's not the same as having one's own space. We haven't been back to the rental house since Thursday. I had only packed for two days. I'm on Day 4 of living out of my suitcase. It's not cool. I need to do laundry-for everyone's sake. There's also several loads waiting for me at the rental house and a driveway's worth of shoveling 12" of crusty snow for hubby.

I'm tired and cranky and short tempered. I want my routine back, even if that routine means traveling to/from Newburyport every day.

On the bright side... I feel amazingly well for being 14 days from my due date. Baby continues to grow (about 6.5 lbs right now) making it harder and harder to bend over (snow boots are a PITA.) S/he is active and kicking. I don't think Baby has dropped as I still have a foot jabbing my rib. Ready or not, Baby is coming.

Life Situations

Sometimes, life rears up and bites you in the arse. This has been one of those weeks.

We are renting a house and attempting to make lemonade out of lemons. Here's some of the sweet stuff:
* see the stars clearly
* close to the beach
* the dogs love the beach
* the sunrises
* the sunsets (when we can get home in time to see them)
* the friendly people we meet
* not a construction zone
* clean

And the tart:
* Alaskan tundra first floor, Arizona desert second floor
* long commute
* uninsulated bathroom
* cold toilet if temperature outside drops below 30
* cold air rushing through floorboards
* frozen drain on the shower (only once, the week before thanksgiving)
* lack of pizza delivery
* cost of propane to heat the house

This past Monday, the temperature dropped drastically. It was a high of 18, without accounting for windchill. This did not bode well for our little rental cottage. We went to work and when we got home, the pipes had frozen, including the big one in the house. Surprising since the thermostat had been set to 55. It seems there was a rather large gap where the feeder pipe comes into the house. The pipes under the house froze because the outlet the coil warmers were plugged into had tripped.

Understandably, the landlord is upset and in a panic. He is trying to do everything in his power to make the cottage livable. He did his best to insulate, but it's an old house and on stilts. You can only do so much. We're negotiating options, but it has been very tense. Baby is due in three weeks. The house is not finished. Our neighbors have been wonderful letting us sleep on their couch. They even offered to let us stay with them until the house is finished (est 6-8 weeks.) That presents its own problems. And I don't feel comfortable burdening them with a newborn. We're worried about the dogs. They've been staying in the unfinished house (it's kind of heated at the moment as the plumbers test the radiant heating.) It means we don't get quality time with Indigo and Azure and they miss us (feeling is mutual.)

Ugh. It's been an ordeal and I can't even articulate how I am dealing. Hubby feels the same way. He's been wonderful handling all the rental house issues (talking with the landlord is not easy) and keeping things moving with our own home. I'm just trying to stay sane and comfortable. I'm not shirking my duties, but Baby's health is a priority with only 3 weeks left.

I just want to be home.

IAQs

One of my clients is also expecting his first child in January. We've swapped some stories. Here's his latest. (All credit it due to Tim.) Warning - if you are pregnant, please use the restroom before reading further. You'll see why....

Here’s the list of questions I’ve asked various health care “professionals” during the course of the pregnancy.

Infrequently Asked Questions

1. Question: Should the mother switch to light beer now that she is pregnant?

Answer: What?

2. Question: Can the mother practice yoga?

Answer: Yes.

3. Question: Can she perform the pose where she has to balance on her uterus?

Answer: No.

4. Question: What about jumping jacks?

Answer: Probably not the best idea.

5. Question: The baby books say that it is not acceptable to tickle torture the baby. What about tickling the mother?

Answer: Once per week.

6. Question: If the mother can only eat one vegetable during the entire course of the pregnancy, what is the best vegetable to eat?

Answer: Eat a variety of vegetables, not one.

7. Question: If the mother can only eat one meal during the entire course of the pregnancy, what is the best meal? (I suggested pork chops, mashed potatoes, sauerkraut, and gravy.)

Answer: Definitely not pork chops, but no single, great meal exists.

8. Question: Will poking the mother’s stomach harm the baby?

Answer: No. But it may harm the father.

9. Question: None of the childbirth classes or baby books has told us what the stork does during pregnancy, so when do we find out about the stork?

Answer: It’s a secret.

10. Question: Will all of the hospital bills be waived next year since the baby should be born after we have the new health care plan?

Answer: No, you still have to pay bills even if there is universal health care.

11. Question: How can we prepare the baby in womb for the APGAR test so that it will be trained as a doctor or lawyer instead of garbage man under the new Socialist regime?

Answer: No response.

12. Can I pay for the visit with homemade knit sweaters and scarves? (Note: I do not know how to knit?)

Answer: No.

13. Question: I know that you’ve seen a lot of mothers, tracked the development of their babies and how they’ve matured and grown up, and that all parents will say their baby is the best, smartest, cutest baby, but that is a bunch of bs. You’re experience places you in a position to make an objective determination on how awesome this baby will be, so, on a scale of one to ten, how awesome will our baby be?

Answer: 9.9 (Doctor verified that 1 was “least awesome” and 10 was “most awesome”)

14. Question: Do you have a time machine so we an jump ahead to birth and then be closer to finding out that I’ll be a terrible father, allowing us to identify and work on that sooner rather than later?

Answer: You need therapy.

29 weeks, 3 days

Dear Baby,

Today I am 29 weeks and 3 days pregnant. It is very hard to believe that you will be here in about 10 weeks. I've been blessed with a relatively easy pregnancy. The worst "symptom" has been heartburn, so I can't complain (too loudly.)

Last night, your father felt you kick for the first time. He said it was like someone had pushed out my stomach from the inside. He's the master of the obvious. You have been very active kicking and stretching. You certainly let me know that you don't like to be squished. I don't like it much either. I first saw you roll and reach out in my 11 week ultrasound. You really haven't stopped since.

There have been a lot of things happening in the months leading up to your arrival. At a more local level, your dad and I have been adding onto our house. We started the project in January 2008 with our first meeting with the architect. We broke ground on September 2. As of today (October 28) the entire addition has been framed. The contractors are working on the interior framing and stairs. Later this week, they'll put on the siding and roof. The plumbers arrived yesterday and the mason finished up the brick work on the side of the house. Your grandfather and Uncle Dave have been at the house since Saturday working on the wiring and lighting. They have been a tremendous help and I don't think they make big enough Thank You cards.

I'm really hoping that we can move back in shortly after your arrival. We've been living in Newburyport since the start of October. It's a nice house and very close to the beach (3 minute walk, which Indigo and Azure LOVE.) The drive to and from the house, though, is starting to take it's toll. We leave at 6:15 each morning and get home around 8:00pm. That's probably the biggest drawback of the Newburyport house - how far away it is (45 minutes to our house, 75 minutes to work.)

At a national level, we are in a general election year. It's been a very contentious Presidential race between Senators Obama and McCain. The issues include the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, women's rights (always an issue), taxes, housing, and the economy. It's been this way for the better part of a year with the primary elections. We saw our first female candidate for president in Hillary Clinton and our first African American candidate in Barack Obama (actually, he's half black and half white.) Next Tuesday will prove to be historic in many ways - either the country elects the first black President or our first female Vice President (Sarah Palin.)

Overall, it's been a historic year, with the elections and economy. We are in the midst of a 'global economic crisis' where all markets are suffering. Your father and I are doing our part to keep the money moving - see above paragraph about the addition.

Well, Baby, that's just a brief summary of all that's been happening while we wait for you. We'll see you in a few short weeks!

Love,
Mommy

One Year Ago

One year ago, I was getting ready for bed, picking up around the house and loading the dishwasher. My phone rang. I was shocked and immediately concerned. It was 9:30; no one calls me after 8. It was my cousin. "Have you talked to your mom or dad tonight?" "No, why. What's wrong." "It's Walter. He was in an accident. I don't think it's good." "What do you mean?" "An accident while driving home." Silence. And then I went for my laptop. It didn't take me long to find the article. I read it aloud. "Say that again," she said. "The driver was 21." "How old was Walter." "21." And we cried. Hard. Uncontrollably.

I sent her the link and she read it to her mom. We cried more. I hung up and called home. My brother answered. "What happened?" "It's not good. Aunt and Uncle are at the hospital. Mom and Dad are at their house." He was quiet. Not his usual angry quiet, but a contemplative quiet. We knew. We didn't want to know. My mom called. "I'm sorry." And we cried. Hard. Uncontrollably.

I went upstairs and woke my husband. I couldn't talk. I could only hiccup and gasp and try to tell what I knew. "I'm sorry." And he held me as I cried silent tears.

Two days later, I made the long trip home. It was quiet most of the way as we each thought about Walter. We drove the same stretch where he had his accident. There were skid marks on the road. An acknowledgment. A tear. I went straight to my aunt and uncle's. There were no words. There could be no words.

I sat on the couch and began going through stacks of photos - Baby Walter, Child Walter, Teen Walter, Young Man Walter. Only 21.

There was a family lunch. We were all there. We took up 5 tables. Even my brother came. It meant so much. And then it was to the funeral home. To say our good-byes. But, there were no words. There could be no words.

The line started at 4:30 and didn't diminish until 8:30. I have never experienced the amount of love and community support as I did that day. We cried. Hard. Uncontrollably.


Walter James Ramsay, Jr. died one year ago today. He was 21. He was my cousin. He touched each and every one of us. I miss him. And there are no words to describe the pain that we all feel on this day.

Rafters

The rafters are going up! The rafters are going up! This means the loft space is defined and they are putting in the supports for the roof. How exciting!!

Next week we'll have a roof and siding. It's coming together.

From the front:



From atop the hill: