IAQs

One of my clients is also expecting his first child in January. We've swapped some stories. Here's his latest. (All credit it due to Tim.) Warning - if you are pregnant, please use the restroom before reading further. You'll see why....

Here’s the list of questions I’ve asked various health care “professionals” during the course of the pregnancy.

Infrequently Asked Questions

1. Question: Should the mother switch to light beer now that she is pregnant?

Answer: What?

2. Question: Can the mother practice yoga?

Answer: Yes.

3. Question: Can she perform the pose where she has to balance on her uterus?

Answer: No.

4. Question: What about jumping jacks?

Answer: Probably not the best idea.

5. Question: The baby books say that it is not acceptable to tickle torture the baby. What about tickling the mother?

Answer: Once per week.

6. Question: If the mother can only eat one vegetable during the entire course of the pregnancy, what is the best vegetable to eat?

Answer: Eat a variety of vegetables, not one.

7. Question: If the mother can only eat one meal during the entire course of the pregnancy, what is the best meal? (I suggested pork chops, mashed potatoes, sauerkraut, and gravy.)

Answer: Definitely not pork chops, but no single, great meal exists.

8. Question: Will poking the mother’s stomach harm the baby?

Answer: No. But it may harm the father.

9. Question: None of the childbirth classes or baby books has told us what the stork does during pregnancy, so when do we find out about the stork?

Answer: It’s a secret.

10. Question: Will all of the hospital bills be waived next year since the baby should be born after we have the new health care plan?

Answer: No, you still have to pay bills even if there is universal health care.

11. Question: How can we prepare the baby in womb for the APGAR test so that it will be trained as a doctor or lawyer instead of garbage man under the new Socialist regime?

Answer: No response.

12. Can I pay for the visit with homemade knit sweaters and scarves? (Note: I do not know how to knit?)

Answer: No.

13. Question: I know that you’ve seen a lot of mothers, tracked the development of their babies and how they’ve matured and grown up, and that all parents will say their baby is the best, smartest, cutest baby, but that is a bunch of bs. You’re experience places you in a position to make an objective determination on how awesome this baby will be, so, on a scale of one to ten, how awesome will our baby be?

Answer: 9.9 (Doctor verified that 1 was “least awesome” and 10 was “most awesome”)

14. Question: Do you have a time machine so we an jump ahead to birth and then be closer to finding out that I’ll be a terrible father, allowing us to identify and work on that sooner rather than later?

Answer: You need therapy.

29 weeks, 3 days

Dear Baby,

Today I am 29 weeks and 3 days pregnant. It is very hard to believe that you will be here in about 10 weeks. I've been blessed with a relatively easy pregnancy. The worst "symptom" has been heartburn, so I can't complain (too loudly.)

Last night, your father felt you kick for the first time. He said it was like someone had pushed out my stomach from the inside. He's the master of the obvious. You have been very active kicking and stretching. You certainly let me know that you don't like to be squished. I don't like it much either. I first saw you roll and reach out in my 11 week ultrasound. You really haven't stopped since.

There have been a lot of things happening in the months leading up to your arrival. At a more local level, your dad and I have been adding onto our house. We started the project in January 2008 with our first meeting with the architect. We broke ground on September 2. As of today (October 28) the entire addition has been framed. The contractors are working on the interior framing and stairs. Later this week, they'll put on the siding and roof. The plumbers arrived yesterday and the mason finished up the brick work on the side of the house. Your grandfather and Uncle Dave have been at the house since Saturday working on the wiring and lighting. They have been a tremendous help and I don't think they make big enough Thank You cards.

I'm really hoping that we can move back in shortly after your arrival. We've been living in Newburyport since the start of October. It's a nice house and very close to the beach (3 minute walk, which Indigo and Azure LOVE.) The drive to and from the house, though, is starting to take it's toll. We leave at 6:15 each morning and get home around 8:00pm. That's probably the biggest drawback of the Newburyport house - how far away it is (45 minutes to our house, 75 minutes to work.)

At a national level, we are in a general election year. It's been a very contentious Presidential race between Senators Obama and McCain. The issues include the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, women's rights (always an issue), taxes, housing, and the economy. It's been this way for the better part of a year with the primary elections. We saw our first female candidate for president in Hillary Clinton and our first African American candidate in Barack Obama (actually, he's half black and half white.) Next Tuesday will prove to be historic in many ways - either the country elects the first black President or our first female Vice President (Sarah Palin.)

Overall, it's been a historic year, with the elections and economy. We are in the midst of a 'global economic crisis' where all markets are suffering. Your father and I are doing our part to keep the money moving - see above paragraph about the addition.

Well, Baby, that's just a brief summary of all that's been happening while we wait for you. We'll see you in a few short weeks!

Love,
Mommy

One Year Ago

One year ago, I was getting ready for bed, picking up around the house and loading the dishwasher. My phone rang. I was shocked and immediately concerned. It was 9:30; no one calls me after 8. It was my cousin. "Have you talked to your mom or dad tonight?" "No, why. What's wrong." "It's Walter. He was in an accident. I don't think it's good." "What do you mean?" "An accident while driving home." Silence. And then I went for my laptop. It didn't take me long to find the article. I read it aloud. "Say that again," she said. "The driver was 21." "How old was Walter." "21." And we cried. Hard. Uncontrollably.

I sent her the link and she read it to her mom. We cried more. I hung up and called home. My brother answered. "What happened?" "It's not good. Aunt and Uncle are at the hospital. Mom and Dad are at their house." He was quiet. Not his usual angry quiet, but a contemplative quiet. We knew. We didn't want to know. My mom called. "I'm sorry." And we cried. Hard. Uncontrollably.

I went upstairs and woke my husband. I couldn't talk. I could only hiccup and gasp and try to tell what I knew. "I'm sorry." And he held me as I cried silent tears.

Two days later, I made the long trip home. It was quiet most of the way as we each thought about Walter. We drove the same stretch where he had his accident. There were skid marks on the road. An acknowledgment. A tear. I went straight to my aunt and uncle's. There were no words. There could be no words.

I sat on the couch and began going through stacks of photos - Baby Walter, Child Walter, Teen Walter, Young Man Walter. Only 21.

There was a family lunch. We were all there. We took up 5 tables. Even my brother came. It meant so much. And then it was to the funeral home. To say our good-byes. But, there were no words. There could be no words.

The line started at 4:30 and didn't diminish until 8:30. I have never experienced the amount of love and community support as I did that day. We cried. Hard. Uncontrollably.


Walter James Ramsay, Jr. died one year ago today. He was 21. He was my cousin. He touched each and every one of us. I miss him. And there are no words to describe the pain that we all feel on this day.

Rafters

The rafters are going up! The rafters are going up! This means the loft space is defined and they are putting in the supports for the roof. How exciting!!

Next week we'll have a roof and siding. It's coming together.

From the front:



From atop the hill:

Construction

I have been remiss in posting about our house addition on a regular basis. I apologize.

We kicked it off on Sept 2 when they dug the hole for the foundation. The weekend of Sept 20, we demolished as much of the kitchen, office, and spare bedroom as possible. In the meantime, the builders started framing (after waiting for two steel beams). As of yesterday, the walls of the second floors were going up. The builders have been tying into the existing structure as they go. There hasn't been a back wall on the house since about Sept 30 (and an impetus for our move to a temporary home on the beach.)

Anyway, you are probably more interested in the pictures than actual descriptions. Well, here you go. They are in reverse order - most recent pics are on the first page. We need to add descriptions so you know what you are looking at. Those will come later, when we have free time. (Free time?! Who has free time?)

Prayers

October is a tough month for my family, particularly this year. We are nearing the year anniversary of one of our saddest days. Walter, we still miss you terribly.

Last week, we found out that my uncle had a brain tumor. He underwent surgery on Friday and they were successful in removing it. In follow-up tests, however, the doctors found he has an aggressive form of lung cancer. The prognosis at this point is not positive, but he is just starting treatment. I don't have many other details yet as the news came this morning.

Uncle Mike, I love you and will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Projects

As if life wasn't full enough, I decided this morning that I want to do some craft projects. Slight problem, all my craft supplies are hidden in a crowded basement behind building materials. Hmmm, what to do?

Any of these pumpkin decorating ideas would be easy enough to do on Friday night before our open house on Sunday. (from How about Orange.)

• Witch legs!
• Paper Mache! (maybe not a great idea with the dogs)
• Pun-kin ornaments
• Cinderella's ride
• And wouldn't you know that Martha has lots more ideas.
• Franken-gourd
• Pincushion pumpkins

And separately, someday I hope to make these spider desserts.
I forsee a trip to Michael's at lunchtime.